- Enasculin Ensaculin: Treats dementia by demolishing your ego!
- Lord Adonis: Not a 19th-century dandy, just of Greek heritage.
- Paedocommunion: Involves priests. Plus, “pedo” with a dipthong just sounds like molestation.
- Republican Marriage: Not the opposite of same-sex marriage. In fact, some would say that all marriages have a similar effect.
- Lesbian Wine: Not actually produced at Larry Flynt’s ancestral grange in Broussy-le-Petit, but rather on the island of Lesbos.
- Anal Language: “Not to be confused with the Anus Language”
- Boring Lava Field: But only compared to Mount Ranier.
In honor of Pleasant Grove City v. Summum, in which the Supreme Court ruled that Pleasant Grove, Utah could reject the request to display a tablet containing the Seven Aphorisms of Summum in a public square, here are some other curios of American jurisprudence.
There has only been one case directly relating to the Third Amendment (billeting soldiers in private homes) Engblom v. Carey, where housing used by corrections officers was used by the National Guard. The case established the National Guard as military when on operations and that renters received equal protections as owners under the Constitution.
But the United States Supreme Court can weigh in on higher matters, such as the nature of tomatoes. In Nix v. Hedden, the court determined that for the purposes of tariffs and taxes, tomatoes were vegetables, because that’s how people serve them. Toy Biz v. United States, asserted that its superhero figures were not dolls because they weren’t really human. Bratz dolls are somehow unaffected.
Are you concerned whether that lustful glance at your sister was a mortal sin, or just venal? Was it on Sunday? Did you look twice? Did you enjoy it? These are all difficult questions, ones that require serious thought.
But some people don’t think they’re useful. They say it’s as meaningless as asking “How Many Angels Can Dance on the Head of a Pin?” But then the Salamanca School explained that interest wasn’t usury if you were a bank, so a lot of people stopped caring about the debates. They argued that capital can make value. Fairly advanced, perhaps, but they were a little lacking in the biology department. For example, they declared that the giant, fugly rodent called the Capybara was a fish for the purposes of eating it on Friday because it spent most of its time in water, like that fish called a Dolphin.
Of course it was probably more because it was an easy excuse to stuff your face with delicious snub-nosed beaver. But at the end of the day it won’t matter too much – unless of course the rapture is before the return of Christ Triumphant, and not after. Then, all Catholics are screwed.